“An Annotated Facebook Acrostic” by Linda Ferguson, a poem from The Poeming Pigeon: Pop Culture issue, released in December, 2020 by The Poetry Box, has been nominated for The Pushcart Prize.
Please enjoy the poem, and feel free to leave a comment.
“An Annotated Facebook Acrostic”
Feverishly photographing beautiful food and flowers.*
*I hate my boss. My kid served detention three times this week. Again,
ants in the jelly. So not perfect. Don’t tell anybody.
Ahhh, squirrels, puppies, llamas, donkeys. Soft and warm and snuggily.*
*My anti-anxiety medication is NOT working.
Cats! Sleeping in baby’s brand new cradle, leering at squirrels, licking
their toes in the bathroom sink.*
*I know I’m supposed to be eager to please, but how cool to be a furry,
arrogant beast with claws and teeth.
Everyone is smiling, smiling, smiling, just like celebrities! Perched on a
ladder cleaning the gutters or cheering for the team (windchill factor
below 20), blissed out in the recovery room just after surgery!*
*Remember what happened when you cried in front of everyone in third
grade? Do NOT, under any circumstances, look sad in public ever again.
I’m not kidding.
Bevy of besties. Besties at the apple tasting. Besties sipping wine on
the balcony at the beach. Besties belting out birthday karaoke.*
*I am never alone. Never lonely. I am adored. I never lie awake in the
dark thinking Oh hell, what’s wrong with me. I’m not kidding. Really.
Oh là là! Me in front of the Eiff el Tower and the Tower of Pisa, the Tower
of London, Thailand’s State Tower and Santiago’s Gran Torre. All the
torres and me!*
*See how adventurous I am! Such good taste (and money)!
Offl ine, I think about doing yoga, taking in orphans and communing
with fungi under trees.*
*If I do more things, I could post about them, and people would love
and admire me even more. How awesome would that be?!
Kudos! I won a prize! You won a prize! We donated money! Our latest
remodel is so lovely! We’ve all been with the same partners forever!
Our children are so successful and happy! We signed the petition
to save the bees! We rode the bus one day this week! We’re all so
beautiful, clever and aware, I can hardly speak!*
*When oh when will I be happy?